Chia Jerry: the seeds of life

This past Christmas our esteemed production manager, Jason Chastain, received a chia pet, modeled to the shape of the popular cartoon character Garfield. Seeing as the Vanguard offices are located deep in the basement of Smith Memorial Student Union, where not but mold does grow and not but rats do dwell, the production staff has embarked on the Herculean of saga enlivening our workspace through the cultivation of a chia pet. This is the story of that chia pet. -Editor

Day 2: The Seeds of Life

While the staff of the Vanguard was off whiling away its weekend at various debaucheries, Chia Jerry was busy growing the gooey paste atop his head into a crown of resplendent/creepy flora.

As the seed paste was applied liberally to all dimensions of Chia Jerry's head, the growth of the chia plant itself has taken on an interestingly warped design. The sheer oddity of this sight has been amplified by a curved mirror that has been placed behind Chia Jerry's head in what one can only assume was a fit of Jerry's emerging vanity.

Certain staff members (read: me) have commented that Chia Jerry looks like an Aztec ruin, overgrown with vines after years' exposure to the elements. Heaven only knows what mysteries the next day will bring...

Well, this is weird: Fucked Up on Fox News

If you weren't aware, Fucked Up rules.

The Toronto hardcore band has released dozens of records, and last year's great The Chemistry of Common Life was in my top 10 of the year.

What they're doing on Fox News, which isn't exactly known as a paragon of the punk rock aesthetic, is unclear, but here's the very surprising video evidence:



(From: brooklynvegan)

Chia Jerry: the saga begins

This past Christmas our esteemed production manager, Jason Chastain, received a chia pet, modeled to the shape of the popular cartoon character Garfield. Seeing as the Vanguard offices are located deep in the basement of Smith Memorial Student Union, where not but mold does grow and not but rats do dwell, the production staff has embarked on the Herculean of saga enlivening our workspace through the cultivation of a chia pet. This is the story of that chia pet. -Editor

Day 1: The Seedening

Today the seeds were applied liberally to Chia Jerry. Though the box suggests placing them on the backside of the chia pet, Jason decided to think outside the box (HA!) and slather the seeds onto all sides of Chia Jerry's bulbous head.

During the slathering, a staff member (read: me) commented that the chia seed paste looked remarkably similar to dinosaur snot, as portrayed in the movie Jurassic Park. Thus life does spring from the grossest looking places.

There has been no noticable growth as of yet but expectations are high for the lush greenery that is about to spring from Chia Jerry's head and turn the production cubicle into a latter day eden.

George Clooney returning to ER for final episode!!

NBC. April 2nd. Be there or forever ensure my wrath.

The Secret White House Record Collection

It turns out moving into the White House has a few perks (who knew?)—and Rolling Stone has little story about the history of the big house's record library.

It goes pretty much how you would expect: It started off boring with Nixon, improved under Carter (Sex Pistols! Neil Young!) and Grandpa Reagan got confused and moved them to the basement.

Will Obama update the collection? I hope so. He is, after all, the hip-hop President. (My first additions: Rakim's "Paid in Full," Nas' "Illmatic" and Wu-Tang Clan's "Enter the Wu-Tang.")

What do you think? What records need to be in the White House library?

Name your price: Cadence Weapon's new album

The most recent artist to jump onboard the digital music release with a "name your price" style of purchase is Cadence Weapon. His new album is more of a mixtape but it features, according to Cadence Weapon's website "exclusive new Cadence Weapon tracks, remixes and collaborations." And yes that means you can pay nothing.

The album is 20 tracks, and is called Separation Anxiety. Previous bands to have used the "name your price" purchase method have been Radiohead (for In Rainbows) and Nine Inch Nails (for The Slip). And while Separation Anxiety isn't exactly an album, hell, at least it's free (if you so choose) and since when do you pass up free music?

Download Separation Anxiety here.

"Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" Mini-Review

If your a fan of the Underworld franchise, then you'll probably enjoy this flick, a prequel to the first two films Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. If not, don't bother.

I've only ever seen the first Underworld, and I probably would have avoided this one except tickets were free. But, it seems that the most important elements of the film were covered in a brief flashback sequence in the first film (although with a different actress).

I'll be honest, I fell asleep during Rise of the Lycans, only awoken by werewolves (lycans, whatever) and vampires tearing each other new assholes.

Unfortunately, no matter how good CGI gets, werewolves continue to look weird and kind of lame. 

By the way, contrary to what you might think, Kate Beckinsale is not in this film (not that it matters), the girl in all the previews just really looks like her. 

On a final note, what is Michael Sheen still doing acting in movies like this? After playing Tony Blair in The Queen, the late Portland State alumn Art Honeyman in Music Within, and David Frost in the Oscar nominated Frost/Nixon, why is he still playing Lucian the Lycan?

I give this movie 1.5 stars for brevity, and only waking me up occasionally while I napped.