This past Christmas our esteemed production manager, Jason Chastain, received a chia pet, modeled to the shape of the popular cartoon character Garfield. Seeing as the Vanguard offices are located deep in the basement of Smith Memorial Student Union, where not but mold does grow and not but rats do dwell, the production staff has embarked on the Herculean of saga enlivening our workspace through the cultivation of a chia pet. This is the story of that chia pet. -Editor
Day 2: The Seeds of Life
While the staff of the Vanguard was off whiling away its weekend at various debaucheries, Chia Jerry was busy growing the gooey paste atop his head into a crown of resplendent/creepy flora.
As the seed paste was applied liberally to all dimensions of Chia Jerry's head, the growth of the chia plant itself has taken on an interestingly warped design. The sheer oddity of this sight has been amplified by a curved mirror that has been placed behind Chia Jerry's head in what one can only assume was a fit of Jerry's emerging vanity.
Certain staff members (read: me) have commented that Chia Jerry looks like an Aztec ruin, overgrown with vines after years' exposure to the elements. Heaven only knows what mysteries the next day will bring...